Undefeated

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you. – Romans 16:20

So last night I was just sitting there minding my own business when suddenly—bam! ATTACK! It is funny. God has been so incredible in everything with this calling. He has opened doors and people’s hearts. I have been overwhelmed by the support and generosity of those around me. I was actually puzzled this weekend thinking about how there had been no challenges from “the bad guy” to try to stop me from moving forward. I did get laryngitis when giving my announcements at church and doing a witness for the confirmation group, but even with no voice, God spoke. So I will count that challenge (and all of them for that matter) a blessing.

So last night, I am sitting there by the laptop light in my bedroom. Checking my email and minding my own business when wham! Out of no where, this loud voice explodes through my brain… "You are so incredibly disgusting. No one will ever love you. No one will ever want you. Look at yourself. You are an embarrassment. And it isn’t just your outside. Your insides are as filthy and disgusting. You are greedy, selfish, jealous, and prideful. You aren’t worthy and you don’t deserve this opportunity. You are a failure and have everyone fooled. If everyone around you saw you as you are, they would reject you." All of this was like an explosion in my head. And it only lasted about 5 seconds before I recognized it for what it was.

And there was war in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon,
and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and
they lost their place in heaven. The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient
serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was
hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

Then I heard a loud voice in
heaven say:
"Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of
our God, and the authority of his Christ.
For the accuser of our brothers,
who accuses them before our God day and night,
has been hurled down.

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.

Therefore rejoice, you heavens
and you who dwell in them!
But woe to the earth and the sea,
because the devil has gone down to you!
He is filled with fury,
because he knows that his time is short."

“The accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night has been hurled down. He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”

Bottom line—Satan is pissed. And rightfully so. Already people have infuriated him by reflecting the beauty of Christ in their love, prayers and support. The parishioners at Good Shepherd were AMAZINGLY generous with their support this past weekend. I am so humbled and awed by their goodness and generosity. And I imagine this time of year is really tough on the bad guy. I mean, he is surrounded by people donating food, toys, clothing, etc. to make people’s holiday’s happy ones. His defenses are getting old—busyness, commercialism and greed-- which our culture is starting to rebel against. What will he do if everyone remembers the true meaning of the season? He won’t have a leg to stand on!

So rather than fight his accusations, I embrace them. And humility is the word of the day. He’s right. I am not worthy, and never will I be. And I was sharing this experience with my friend Erin, and she told me, “None of us are worthy, and all of us get those feelings sometimes. When we try to do something good, we are reminded of all the bad in us. But if we focus on that, we’d never get anything done. So we do the best we can to push that voice away and do good.”

And we thank God for the blessings in our lives… like my friend who was texting me last night and then called because he sensed something was wrong. When I answered the phone he said, "What is going on! This doesn’t sound like you at all! It is so negative!" Which, whether he realizes it or not, was a confirmation for me. That it WASN’T me. And I am NOT that person. I am a child of God. And so are you! And even with all our shortcomings, we are created in his image and called to serve. And while the feelings may still linger and today may be a battle, the war is already won.

And the more good we do, the more challenges we will experience. It is spiritual warfare! And on the way to work this morning, I was wondering this morning where the challenge may have come from. Then I remembered that last night I completed letters to 7 priest friends of mine, among several other people, sharing my journey with them and asking them to pray for me. Maybe the bad guy knows what is coming and he is scared! And he should be!

I know what amazing people are supporting me and he ought to tuck tail and run! Keep doing good! And guard your hearts. You who are supporting a good work will be challenged as well. So let’s all fight the good fight! Every act of kindness and generosity is a nail in the bad guy’s coffin. Thank you for sharing your love and gifts, and for praying for me-- I am praying for your protection! God bless you!