Please pray for me as I begin this transition home. My grandmother is still very sick and is moving to the Hospice house soon. I am struggling very much with it being so close to the end of my year and the possibility that I might never see her again (in this world). Then there is the grief of my team, who has become like family this year, parting ways. As the team leader this year, I feel like my whole purpose this year has been to bring these amazing people together in such a way that brought out their talents in the best way to serve God. And now, as we prepare to part, I find myself wondering what purpose God has for me next. But then again, I know I am sometimes seeking this "great plan" when maybe it is simply to love everyday as best I can.
So, my plan for now is to come home and "debrief" this experience. Figure out the next step. I recently updated my resume and have been thinking lately about how this year will look to an employers. "So... you were working at a job you loved and you left. Why was that again? *looking down at resume* oh.... hmmm... i see... to evangelize."
My co-team leader recently gave a talk at a retreat on life choices. He quoted this scripture...
The Rich Young Man (Matt 19: 16-28)Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."
"Which ones?" the man inquired.
Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and 'love your neighbor as yourself."
"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"
Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
It was this scripture that lead to my teammate's conversion. He was raised a catholic, but had become an athiest during university. Because he didn't believe in eternal life, he began to feel empthy inside and purposeless. So he began to fill the hole in his heart with drinking, partying, relationships, etc. Then he was invited to a retreat. He went because some friends he knew were going. During this retreat, he read the gospels and came to beleive in Jesus and that he died for him and his sins. It was during reading this scripture that he realized that his happiness, his joy, his fulfillment and his hope all were found in Jesus. He turned his life and all his dreams over to Jesus. This included taking time off university to serve on NET.
In the talk he was giving, he was talking about how choosing to follow Jesus above all else doesn't mean that all of us are called to serve a year overseas in mission. But it does mean that, in whatever field we are in, whatever stage of life we are in, wherever we are that day, we are called to love and serve God and our neighbor above ourself. And I struggle with that! But as the scripture says, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
So, I have been thinking and praying a lot about this. And I trust God to take care of the next steps in my life, if I can just be obedient. So, please keep me in your prayers during this transition. That as I return home I can somehow bring together all that I left behind and all that I have learned this year to be a better person than I was at the start of all this. And that I can discover God's purpose for this time in my life. See you soon!
