What a ride. These pictures were taken after our final prayer time as a team. These last 10 days have been a rollercoaster. On Nov 1 (Oct 31 back home), I found out my beautiful and amazing grandmother, Marion Lee, passed away. I am heartbroken. Devestated that I didn't get back in time to say a final goodbye. But thank God for my mom's wisdom. She told me when I left to say goodbye as if i might not see her again. So I did that back in January. And then I said goodbye in my own ways over the year and recently. She knows I loved her. While the grief is overwhelming, I have done my best not to focus on how much of a hole she leaves behind, but to focus on the amazing beauty and gift of her life. I was SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED to have her as my Mam'a. She was amazing and she lived her life to serve others. She has been a model of Christ's love since I was a child, and in her memory, I have tried especially hard in these last 2 weeks of ministry and team life, to live the love and compassion she lived daily. I feel like that is the best gift I could give her and what she would have wanted.
Please also keep Miriam Cunill, my dad's mother, in your prayers. I received a call from my sister today saying she is quite sick and they don't think she will make it through the night. These are tough times. On top of the grief related to my family, this past week has been debriefing, and tomorrow morning is our final mass and banquet. I have been decommissioned from my team. It's a bittersweet feeling. I praise God for the amazing year I have had. An incredibly talented and loving team. Awesome ministry opportunities. The chance to learn so much about myself, and the opportunity for God to reveal his glory through my weakness.
I know there is a trainwreck of joy and grief inside... its just a matter of when it releases. I am here in Oz for just 4 more days. All of which are jam packed with joyous times-- my team is going to a waterpark to celebrate-- and sad times of saying goodbye. I am scarily at peace with everything right now. Everytime I start to get sad at something I will miss, the feeling is pushed away by gratitude. Gratitude that I even was privledged enough to participate in this year. To be a part of something greater. To know these amazing individuals and to meet so many wonderful people in our travels. The chance to gain a greater understanding of Christ's love. What it is to love and to be loved. To understand forgiveness. Truly. And there is SOOO much more. I am seriously considering writing a book!
I will return to Tallahassee in a few days. I am bringing much less baggage with me than I took-- both figuratively and literally. I have laid down so much at Jesus' feet this year. And praise God that I am a sinner because it has allowed him to work his power and his glory in me. Hopefully I will be able to share my story and lead others to the FREEDOM that comes only in HIM.
I am excited to be back, but anxious about the transition too. I have so much processing to do. I look forward to seeing all of you that I have missed for SO long, but don't be hurt if it takes me a while to get up with you. I think it will take me a while to take my current lifestyle, reaccess my old lifestyle and meld the two together into a person I am proud of. I know this will take much pruning, which can be painful, but is so lifegiving! Thank you for understanding and being patient with me during this time of transition. God has blessed me with all of you, and I pray for you daily.
I arrived stateside just a few hours ago. My beautiful mother met me with a huge hug, a balloon and a bag of goodies. I was exhausted after 40+ hours of travel. I talked to my dad on the phone and found out that his mother, my Mimi, passed away this morning. Thank you for your prayers. We have peace that it was her time to go. We will head to Mobile Friday for the funeral. 
